SPECTATING vs. COMPETING

After testing and lots of discussion I was not permitted to race selection.

(In all honesty this hit hard).

But I’m okay with it. I trust the professionals and the logic and evidence they presented. I have to look ahead in my career and I don’t want the risk of another injury to hinder my progress.

It was odd however watching the emotional turmoil that is ‘selection’, where competitors push the limits and mistakes are of higher possibility. The borderline moves are either executed or your run is over. Watching the race puts it into perspective, that a race is a race. It made me think of how I approach races (and I wouldn’t change a thing). For me a race is a race as any other. I learnt this in 2013 when I raced the semi-final of the U23 worlds, I was so nervous I couldn’t execute the plan focusing on the externals of who was watching, the importance of the event, than being internally focused on the plan. There is that added pressure of selection or championship title at stake, but it’s your choice to let it affect you or focus on the controllable. My aim: keep it simple, same plan, try your best. If you have confidence in your plan, you commit to it 100%, then you have the best chance of execution. Last year, I tried my best, I missed the team, but I wasn’t that upset (yes, I had a quick cry on my dad shoulder straight after my last run). But I was happy with myself, I felt like I had no other option to be so, I couldn’t have tried any harder or changed anything.

Now: Training/rehab is going extremely well. Every 4-5 weeks I’ll be doing simple glut, trunk and shoulder capacity tests, to monitor where my weaknesses will be turning into strengths. I’m paddling nearly every day on the white water, which feels amazing!!!!!

Ahead: The most important matter is not racing at any world ranking races this coming year. It is a big disappointment but means I can hit summer hard with training. I have a few opportunities to train three weeks in mainland Europe and hope to pursue this, I had a great experience last year!

Leading onto next year: I have had official letters going to and forth my coach and coaches in London, over my case of being on the GB programme and not be able to race. They have supported me massively into getting back into training. With this in mind my result making the final at the Euroes last with carry through to next year. This means I will still be on the GB podium potential programme as a funded athlete. This was a big relief to me. It was lovely to read how much they saw my drive, motivation and presence within the team; apparently I don’t go unnoticed with my booming Scottish ascent!!!